"Te mereces muchas cosas buenas, don't ever settle for less."

In tears, who would have thought this person could open my eyes. I know they have been opened before but this person could have actually helped me keep them open.

Love and greatness is all around.

Tito mio

It's been three years grandpa and we still miss you. My mother still winces at the sound of your name, at the sight of your face on a picture, or the sound of your voice on a home movie. She is the one thing you can sure be proud of and I'm thankful you gave me such a beautiful mother. Let me feel your presence tonight, and leave some advice at the foot of my bed. God knows I need it more than ever as I pick my road to ky future. You were loved by family and even strangers. They knew that you were a great man, a good man, and some even took advantage of that. Yet you still showed no hate or remorse. Grandpa, I miss our phone calls, the ones that asked so many questions about my life and I never heard a hint of fakeness that most family members have when they "show" interest in your life. Through the other line I could hear your proudness of even my smallest accomplishments. The most insignificants of events all marked with a star by you. Thank you Tito. For the life you once led and the legacy you've left behind. My kids will know who you were, they are gonna wish they knew you like I did too. I love you Tito. I'm sure God made you one of his best friends and you are making him laugh so much.

i've gone and done it now. i pushed myself too far and i can't stop it.

i need to let go.

when things come so easily, one must be prepared always to let it go easily.

it's not mine. never was and now i can't.

Today, I felt so much hate. I felt pain.

This past few days I've been tweeting messages to people indirectly. Bad ones. I do not care. I felt that way and I don't care.

Yesterday, I saw a service dog and I almost teared up. Such an innocent and pure mind. Ever loyal to its owner, leading them away from danger as their happiness has been stripped away possibly forever...but maybe not, maybe it brings them happiness to see their owners well. Maybe they are truly the only unselfish souls in this world.

This weekend I saw first hand how people are so careless. Words are thrown around as if they had no worldly meaning behind them.

Tonight, I feel love and somewhat peace. Writing to him makes nights easier. When the words that my heart spew out and are finally put down somewhere where he can see them, it makes everything easier.

Tomorrow is another day.

today, did something to my head. it made something click. it made me realize how life can be so simple and calm but a storm can build underneath you with no warning and it washes over you and turn you upside down. what makes us feel this way? what hormone did not want to cooperate and made me feel like poop on the dining room floor. i did not ask to feel this way. maybe i just miss a voice. a voice i haven't heard in what feels like a while.

today, did something to my heart. it felt heavy and it did not want to comply with the smile i was putting up. i wanted to really laugh at all the jokes that were being passed around. i wanted to really feel well when they asked me how i felt.

texts were written then erased, texts were being written then sent to drafts.

seconds passed and i almost felt like seconds were hours and and hours were days. everything is ok. nothing is missing but that voice....

today, did something to my body. it aches in all places and it's not like i haven't stretched enough to not reach this level of pain. but i felt it even in my fingertips. i opened doors just to find myself at the start of it all.

then i come home to find a note and a some jokes and i cracked a smile. a real one. and my heart was complete.

thank you.

but that voice...where are you?

you don't know me. nobody does. rain falls on me like it tries to hurt me but i find out it's only try to wash the bad things off. rain, rain harder please. let this bad things wash off my soul as I try my hardest to find the sun in everything. let love come to me like wind comes to this city. always finding itself back in this little city. love will always find me.

make the rain rain harder God.

been seeing "be here now" a little too much now, and damn it, if I don't take that as a sign, you might as well take my eye sight. it's perfect. I've had questions bubbling up and I stop myself before I speak. they are questions regarding the past, and some include the future. some questions have escaped my mouth though and unfortunately have gotten me in trouble.

simple days, come back.

 This is what makes me cry. When showing love doesn't necessarily mean saying "I love you" or going over the top with flowers and candy. It's when it comes in the simplest of forms, like this.

"Don’t let your mind get weary 
And confused your will be still, don’t try  
Don’t let your heart get heavy 
Child, inside you there’s a strength that lies
Don’t let your soul get lonely 
Child, it’s only time, it will go by  
Don’t look for love in faces, places  
It’s in you that’s where you’ll find kindness"

There is no cure for me, never will be. My heart is a wild horse galloping and making circles around the people that I love dearly so. I scream, I cry, I yell, and I make it impossible for people to live around me, but it is only because I care so much. 

Love is and will always be the best thing that ever happened to our souls. Without love, there would be no passion, no butterflies, no long sighs and beautiful dreams. There would be no motivation, no inspiration, no salvation. 

Why have I been burdened with this feeling though? 

All I do is love, but I destroy as well. Questions build up and all I do is doubt. There should be no doubt around love and no love around doubt. 

When will my heart ever fix me? 

When will life just seem like the biggest easiest puzzle to put together?

Questions. That's all I ask. I need answers and I am screaming for them. Who will give them to me? Who will even listen to them? 

I stand in the dark and I close my eyes, looking for some light. I see it but with it I see this line. I just runs up and down and all I want to do is look at the light. But this line, it's just there, it's taunting me and laughing at me as I don't know the big reason behind it. Is it my path? Is it asking if I should choose to go up and down? What is it? 

Questions. Does anyone have anytime for me? I ask them to some, but they just don't want to explain...they don't want to help...

Love. I want to love till the end of the earth without the affects of it. 

Love-Affects:  questions. 

"Last night I told ya I loved ya

that's when I remembered the vodka.

Last night I told ya I need ya

that's the last time I drink tequila.
Last night I asked ya to marry me

that's when I remembered the brandy."

I'm a selfish woman and I'm trying to fix that. I keep thinking about all the problems I have and what my family is going through. This morning though, while ordering my breakfast, I looked up and watched the Hispanic worker standing in front of this huge open oven, which I'm sure was burning his back, just making bread. I thought how maybe he didn't have a choice because he's supporting his three kids back home, trying to give them a life he always dreamed of having. I sent him a little prayer. So many people around me remind me of my family and how their struggles are pretty much alike  my family's struggles.

There is a busser in the morning that I just simply adore, he reminds me of my dad but this man is much older than him. He man is such a sweet quiet old man. I swear he is probably like 60. Hard worker nonetheless, like I said, reminds me of my dad. I wish I could give him all of my money sometimes, bc I know he is supporting his family just like my dad tries to do.

I sometimes hear how some people grow up with their parents giving them everything and I am so shocked. Not jealous bc who am I to decide who gets to live a life carefree and having everything paid for them. Good for them. I hope they continue to be blessed because I would never wish anyone to go through hardships. I'm not saying I am going through one bc thankfully my sister is working, my mom works, we have a roof over our head and we never go hungry. We even have enough to be able to maintain two dogs.

I know people have it worse than I. That is why I know I should stop stressing so hard. I will be fine. I just hope that people around me are going to be fine as well.

Today is bringing me down. I don't know why. Woke up from a demonic dream this mornin and I can't stop thinking about it. Ugh, and right now that Kelly Clarkson song is playing and I want to barf. Wish I could get over that.

This morning, I did not want to wake up and I blame that five day weekend I had. Lounging in my house can only be good for a short amount of time till I start thinkin how much money I'm not making right now, and right now I need all the money in the world for so many things. Stupid money, it controls my life. Romney better not win. Don't like that guy one bit. But today came and I feel like I haven't rested enough. I need to start meditating and center myself. I'm sure my soul is in knots.

P.s. I love my Mr. Commissioner. He told me I should write short stories from those nightmares I have and I don't know if he was pulling my leg but then he said "I'm just trying to get something positive out of your bad dreams." I don't think I've ever heard(see) the word positive come out of his mouth. It was so not him. He calls himself a realist. I call realist non-dreamers and negative nancys. So when he said that, I had the biggest smile on my face and an unsettling but good feeling. So maybe I will write stories out of these creepy dreams...creep you guys out too.

Spoke to Velveeta about my dream and she gave me this whole interpretation of it and I can almost see everything she said make sense. I need to start my journey. I can feel her getting wiser and more understanding. She is definitely on to something.

Another weird thing today, I keep thinking that I'm hearing that Ellie Goulding song, you know, the one in that Beats commercial..."I know its gonna be, I know its gonna be...alright."  strange. Sign? I hope so

Anywho...I wish I could snap out of this tiny funk. 

10 things I love about serving....

1. The hours. (be there at 10:30 a.m. and I can leave at 2 p.m.)

2. The pay. (be there at 10:30 a.m. and I leave at 2 p.m. and make $100. Do the math.)

3. The managers. They are hilarious and there is a certain level of comfortableness. (Things I do not like about managers: they are sometimes not hilarious and the certain level of comfortableness can disappear in a matter of seconds. BUT lets focus on why I like them.)


4. Free food. How else do these customers expect us to describe and suggest items to them if we don't try it first. Yummm.

5. Wine tastings. How else do these customers expect us to describe and suggest wine if we don't drink it all try it first?

6. The coworkers. We are a work in progress "family". When we really need each other, we really back each other up.

7. The coworkers (part 2). We forgive each other when we become a little bit crazy/paranoid/overwhelmed when we are in the weeds. You can literally tell someone to "fuck off" and they will forget and forgive in the next hour or so. (some people do actually hold grudges though. Chill bro)

8. Crazy customers. Case and point, this evening a customer said that he is allergic to big pieces of garlic but if they are tiny tiny tiny pieces of garlic, it's fine. 0.o Another one, a server overheard a guest telling another guest how they have cut sugar and carbs out of her diet and she goes and orders a coke (not even a diet coke) and a crab cake sandwich. 0.o

9. Awesome customers. We can have a conversation about life and such and you just want to sit down with them and continue talking. (But sometimes those customers can just disappoint you when they leave a %10 tip. "But bro, we just had one of the most awesomest conversations I've ever had and I waited on you hand and foot!" Grrr.)

10. Pre-shift. The conversations during that period of time are hilarious/informative/serious/wacky. I think we've covered from "Anal bleaching" to "Parachute pants". Yes, I said parachute pants. Gross, right? O.o

Friends.

You know what I love about new friends? That its the start of something new and fresh. Well, ok, this person is not new, she has been my coworker for almost six years and we have always had this fondness for each other, well I did, don't know if she did, but we never took the time to talk about anything more than work and the things around it. But anywho, this person (let's call her Velveeta, lol)  has been turning a new page in her life and its like she's taken me along for this new journey, no questions asked, and I've gone willingly. She has had as most people would call it a spiritual awakening and it is so gosh darn refreshing. When my beautiful Julia Magoo was still here, she was my little ray of sunshine, and she was the one that gave me that unintentional push to a better attitude. I'm serious, her amazing personality is crazy contagious. Now, I'm so grateful to have someone else to talk about the positivity in life, how it is all about mind over matter, and the control one can have over their life does one wish to have it. She even tried helping me when I had that little ragina episode, she'd see me and be all "marcy its all mind over matter, mind over matter" but at that small moment I could have sworn that I almost punched her uterus and be all "its all mind over matter now for you too." Just kidding. But seriously. I cannot stress enough about how grateful that our friendship has become stronger than ever. I mean this woman has never really hung out or talked to Iovan and the first day she met him, she walked straight to him and introduced herself with the biggest hug and told him how happy she was to meet him bc she knew how much he means to me. I can almost tell that I'm never ever gonna lose contact with this woman. She's officially on my "Golden Girls" list. ....♫thank you for being a friend....travel down that road and back again...your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidante..♫ (love that show)

Side note(and totally unrelated): I've never seen a squirrel poop. Nevah.

Moving on, I've been having the most craziest of crazy dreams. I can't even explain it. Some of them are awful, and others make me want to stay in bed and make me want to shut my eyes so that I can dream so more!

P.S. I've been questioning everything and approaching everything with caution. Why not? Like, what is my purpose in my life? Why am I living in this body, with this family, in this house, working at this place?

But surely there are some stuff that you should never question. Such as, "why is nabisco trying to jam more cream filling between those chocolate cookies?" or "Why am I getting a raise?" or "Why is music one of the best things in life?" NO NO NO! Never question that last one. 

I'm too tired and I can't seem to properly form a sentence without putting an exclamation point!

GAH!

That time of the year...

People, it's that time of the year. You know, the one where you think having a donut here, a piece of pound cake there, and a little sip of hot chocolate won't do any harm because it is only adding insulation to your body since winter is coming. It's a dangerous time, don't do it. Don't give in to the temptation of over eating. I've already started and all I can say is that my "hips don't lie" a la Shakira. I've given up on runs and settled for longer hours in bed with my girls. I've given up on eating air and given in to carbs. Damn it, you can ask Iovan how I've been the past week. "Honey, I'm hungry." "Baby, I'm gonna eat that orange you have in your fridge." "BABE! I'm gonna do it! I SWEAR!" he's response "Shut up and just eat something!" .....me,"Ok."

So let me give you some tips on how to not give in to temptation

Marcy Diet Tips:

1. Look at old college pictures of yourself. (Shudder)

2. If someone asks you to take that last donut in the box, you scream out "DEVIL!" and run the other way.

3. Look at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning, make an outline of your face with some kind of china marker and on the following day if your face is goes over that outline, slap yourself.

4. If you're really craving some sweets, chew but do not swallow.

5. Remember this phrase "a moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips"

and last but not least

6. Stop drinking fruity alcoholic drinks, dum dum. Straight up shots is the way to go.

Ok, obviously, these are the worst diet tips ever. (except number one, that one really works wonders on me) But if you must indulge on some gushy stuff these winter, proceed with caution. I know they say "America the beautiful" but I never heard anyone say "America the Obese"

And yes, every size is beautiful, but don't you want to live longer? :( I want you to live longer.

Fuck you Diabetes, clogged arteries, and heart problems.

10 things I love about my dogs.

1. When I'm at home, the rest of my family cease to exist. (I'm adored by my girls.)
2. When I go to sleep, I will fall asleep with Duchess and wake up with Daisy. (They must take turns at night.)
3. Duchess is one of the most obedient dog. (Ok, most of the time.)
4. Daisy likes to be carried like a baby. (Will even fall asleep on your arms, even if you are sitting down in front of the computer)
5. If I don't pay attention to Duchess, she will sit in front of the tv until you do.
6. When you call Duchess' name she only moves her eyebrows. (I'm not kidding. She's that lazy)
7. When I call Daisy's name, she cocks her head from side to side. (It's the cutest)
8. They give the biggest welcomes.
9. Daisy is a cuddler.
10. Duchess is not a cuddler but I also love that. My girl is all about solidarity.

Wenches, how I love them so.

Why do people...

Sweat the small stuff? :( Like I told you earlier that I have been reading this sad blog and it's about a mother who lost her 4 year old to cancer and just seems so lost and hurt without him. It's gut wrenching, it makes you mad, it made me cry, and shit like that only makes you realize how there are people out there that are having it worse than you and you should fucking appreciate your boring day.

And because of that blog, I've been putting so much thought into death and how short of a fucking time we have. Depressing, yah, I know. And today I just got reminded how people put their energy and thoughts on the most ridiculous things. It's high school. It's unnecessary drama. It's bullshit. (Ok, I know I've been know to cause a little drama myself (ask Iovan and mama) but I've recognized it, and I'm trying my best to put the petty shit to rest.) But why can't we use our energy and thinking into something productive, like trying to find a cure for cancer, stopping world hunger, saving earth by recycling more, and stopping the cast of jersey shore from world domination.

Love Actually

So its 12:30 a.m. and I can't go to sleep. I just finished watching Love Actually and I'm in tears. There is so much love that I can barely bare it.

I'm a romantic, always have been and I always will be.

P.s. I love my Iovan so much, that sometimes I feel like my heart might just explode. He gives me the strength when I most need it and he does not know. And tonight as I watched him napped, I was thinking how life would be hell if anything happened to him. God, please watch over this man, he carries my heart.

P.p.s. Daisy has a soaking tennis ball in her mouth ( don't know why its soaked, could be drool, water, or worst pee) and she wants me to throw it around the house. Know that its now 12:39 a.m. Crazy puppy.

Just woke up and I can say without a shadow of doubt that Daisy's farts are ten times more lethal than Duchess'. What the fuck am I feeding her?

Got cut this morning and I'm watching garbage on tv. I'm allowed to bc I'm in pain. Daisy is on my lap and Duchess is looking from the sidelines, as if she is no longer my favorite. Drama queen, wonder where she gets it from but I wonder if that is how she really feels.  I hope she knows that I only take her to the park and unleash her while I only walk daisy. I hope she knows she's still extra espeshal. (And when the fuck is that skunk smell gonna come out of her head? It's been like three months already since she got sprayed by a skunk.)

Day cut too short, on my way to work. Yay...................

RAGINA!! Warning: This post is grody.

Well, I'm back again. I recently just got a little push of writing inspiration and it was probably in one of the worst ways. I've recently have been reading one of the saddest yet inspiring blog lately and for some reason it got me wanting to write so I found myself back in this little ol' place. It is almost like a second home to me. I was thinking why must people wait till something bad happens for people to start writing and pouring their soul into words in a blog when you can just write when all is well and "boring".

So here goes nothing while you jump in my crazy little brain.

All is well in the life of Marcy. Iovan and I recently added a new member to our family. Sweet little devil named Daisy. That little brat makes me happy and mad at the same time and those light brown eyes make me gaga over her. Now I have two fart machines on my bed. Hooray. -_-

Iovan and I just celebrated a very nice (FANTASTIC) anniversary. I still love that man, day and night. He's home. He bought us matching homemade bracelets and it makes my heart heart flutter just to see it on him, knowing I have one just like it. (If you are rolling your eyes or thinking that its so high school, well, nobody asked for your fucking opinion.) ;)

This morning could not have been the most perfect morning of my whole life. (p.s. it is very hard to display sarcasm online) This morning I was once again reminded I am woman. Thanks. So as I'm setting up my serving section, quietly (which is very shocking if you know me) my manager asks me what is wrong with me and I gave him a scare with my stare. (Rhymed!) And he knew from there on to stay away from me. The lunch shift starts and its when my pain was at its highest. Fuuuuck. Grabbed the closest manager and asked for a magical pill (ibuprofen) from the office. Took it but I think it was too little too late. As I get my first table, I had tunnel vision and hearing. Fuuuuck. I felt like one of those (Interview with a Vampire) new vampires where they are seething with pain as the venom reaches across your whole body. I felt like laying on the cold floor of the girls bathroom. I greet my table and ask how everyone is doing and they respond asking me as well how I'm doing. "oh you know, my uterine lining is shedding as we speak, the pain pill i just took feels like its coming back up, and I'm shaking but I'm trying my hardest not to make it obvious that I feel like I'm dying. But besides that, everything is fucking fantastic" I think I was doing a bad job of hiding it though as I could almost see a customer look at me with fear that I might just fall flat on my face. (That customer gave me almost 25% tip. Bless him.)

As I was writing all of that ^ I was thinking about the time I first got my monthly bill and my mom was at work and I had to tell my dad. MY DAD. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him.."uh uh uh uh uh....". Poor guy.

Currently I'm eating hot chips (don't tell the boyfriend). Fuck my "strict" diet. I was very good about not getting that chocolate chip muffin in the morning but I now understand the craving for junk food when you are in this little pow pow event. I don't know why, maybe its all in our head that we need to have junk food to feel better, but damn it, it does make feel better.

Got to go actually, loved being back in this little corner of mine, but I love carne en si jugo more so I got to help iovans mother make din din.

P.S. not only am I back, but so is SWEATER WEATHER!!!

Life as we know it, is like this one big never-ending joke. Like for example, this man is deeply in love with this woman, who is taking a train to Texas to live there permanently, suddenly realizes that he can't let her go and so he goes to the train station to stop her and tell her how he can't live without her. But the cab he takes breaks down and so he has to run only to find a big man hole between the him and the only entrance! So he finds a long 2x4 so he can walk across. He has allergies and some pollen gets sweeped up by the wind and brushes his face. ACHOO! down he goes but his fingers are holding on to dear life to the 2x4. This little ant out of nowhere comes and goes down his arm and starts doing the rumba on his armpit. The woman's train is leaving in ten minutes and the man is in the hole with a broken leg and a broken arm. He screams out for help but the jackhammer across the street starts hammering away. No one hears him. Then he loses consciousness, the hole is so dark that no one can see that there is a man in the bottom. Two days later two construction workers go down the hole, see the man, and is saved. The woman, she was never at the station. She went to the man's house five minutes after the man had left to go look for her. Yeah, I know, this would never ever ever happen, but shit happens that make you say "SERIOUSLY?" (I've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy reruns and it seems like that word is very popular with the writers)

I guess, the moral of my story is:

1. Don't take taxis when chasing after the love of your life.
2. Don't be stupid and try to cross a man hole with a 2x4.
3. Try your hardest to look for another entrance (A train station can't possibly just have one entrance)
4. Take your allergy medicine.

And last but not least...

5. Don't get to the point of having to chase the love of your life. When you know how much they mean to you, don't you ever let go.

Duh.

This past week, I've definitely not felt like myself. I've become like this little ant hiding between the sidewalk cracks so that no one steps on me. I'm torn and a little lost. All I want is to find peace and I can't seem to find it no matter how high or low I search for it. I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm upset. All I want is some sort of sign that no matter what, I should just keep my head held high and let the good things come. I need to stop pressuring people, or pushing them away, or trying so desperately to keep them with me. I want love and happiness and possibly, to not give a fuck about anyone else but me. I feel like I need to go into this deep blue ocean and swim down as far as I can so I can go save me from falling further down into the pit of the dark thoughts. This is the worst post i've written, but maybe I can keep this post as a reminder to never be in this place.

I need to be here now....

Shortest Month, Shortest Post..

When it all comes down to it, you have to realize that time is not always on your side but you can will it to be if you let all the silly small troubling things roll of your shoulders and you take the things that matter the most with arms wide open.

Just smile.

February, how I love thee

Welp, February is here and there are hearts, anything and everything covered in red. Mon ami, mon cheri, je t'adore, je t'aime....ok, Pepe Le Pew just ran across my mind.

Just finished all my homework.

Le Sigh...
I love me.

And I LOVE drinking out of juice bottles with a straw because it reminds me when I was a little kid and used to drink out of juice boxes. :)

I love walking on the edge of the sidewalk and pretending to be in a circus walking the tightrope. I'm 24, yeah, I know.

I love pizza. That is all.

I LOVE that my dad kissed my arm when I gave him a hug first thing this Saturday morning. He loves me.

I LOVE that i'm THIS close to graduating.

I love today...and this song...♥

How often...

...do you find yourself asking what you want out of this life?

Do you want more skills, talents...even love?

I do. It might be human nature to want more and more and yes, MORE. It's like you are so hungry and you see this five pound burrito and you finish it, then you are thinking what you might have in the next hour and then the hour after that one and then the next meal....and so forth.

It's an everlasting hunger and sometimes it makes me mad because I wish I could be satisfied already. Then, sometimes I think that if I didn't have this everlasting yearning...life would simply just be too simple. I'm so happy that I make goals and have dreams pretty much daily but then it all becomes too overwhelming.

one day at a time right?

right. :)

CNN, ABC, CBS, SHO?

Yesterday, I probably had the best laugh on a Saturday morning.

So mother had left for the doctor yesterday and when she came back, I asked her why she needed to go. She replied by telling me that she need to get her yearly blood test and I asked for what. She said just to sees if she had any blood diseases or HBO.

She meant HIV.

I, by no means, mean to make fun of my mother, but this was hilarious and one of the biggest fails in the world. Aside from what happened this morning but that's another story. P.S. Don't ever talk bad about anyone, bc when you least expect it, they could be hearing your whole conversation during a webcam conversation....



Laugh. At least once a day.

I pity this kid...

Sometimes, people do forget that.

January 24, 2011

A beautiful little angel was born on January 24, 2011.

I met her today and as I held her, I thought to myself "Look at this little creature, with no worries in the world, she has no thoughts about anything. I wonder if she dreams of colors? Does she dream? She hasn't really used her eyes so how can she possibly dream about a thing?"

Isn't it amazing how a little human being that has taken shelter in a woman's womb for nine months all of a sudden starts living a whole different life once out of that little warm home.

A year from now, she'll be able to see her momma and poppa.

Two years from now, she'll be walking and asking for things and maybe saying more than just ma, da, or wua wua.

Three years from now, she'll be running with the rest of the kids and making friends.

Four years from now, she'll be ready for another chapter. Kindergarten.

Then.......endless possibilities.

But for now, she laid all snuggly between my two arms, making little baby noises and smelling like the most delicious of deliciousness. For now her life was simple, quietly simple and making people love her with her coo's.

Oh and her name is Luz, which means light. How fitting is that? Beautiful little Luz...

Little angel, sweet little angel...I hope you are blessed with a beautiful life.

I think...

I think you should write love letters more often.

What? You don't have someone to write them too?

Write them to yourself.

I think you should say thank you every morning that you wake up. 

Why?

Because you were able to wake up in this life and not in the next one.

I think you should say thank you every night when you go to bed. 

Why?

Because you are safe and all snuggled up in your bed, and who doesn't love that?

I think that when you say hi to someone, you should look them in the eyes.

What? You are in a hurry and can't stop to make conversation?

One good look takes 2 seconds and smile takes half of one. Besides, everyone wants to see that face of yours.

I think that you should say I love you at least once a day to everyone that is close to you. 

Why?

Because what if you don't ever see them again?

I think that if you crave something to eat really really REALLY bad, you should go and eat it. 

Why?

Why not.

I think you should paint more often, sing more often, dance more often. 

Why? You're too busy?

Make time. Sometimes with the extensive vocabulary that there is....words cannot always describe how you feel.

I think that when you get upset, you should let it go as soon as possible.

Why? You are super upset?

Stress takes years off your precious life, stress that will probably only last one day but will take days that you will never have. 

I think you should listen to me.

Sister Sister

I often think how horrible it must be to be an only child because you don't get to talk to anyone when you don't agree with your parents or you are having problems with something random or want to borrow clothes. But then I look at myself and how I have sisters and how probably it's not that horrible to be an only child.

Example A:

Mom is picking me up from work and my sister is in the car with her.

Me: Hi mom. Hi Belen.

Mom: Hi my love.

Belen: Hey.

One second of silence:

Belen: Hey Marce, so we were watching home videos today.

Me: Uh huh.

Belen: and seriously, I think there should have been a law against those things you called "eyebrows".


Ouch.


Example B:

Me changing in my room and Diana and Belen are on my bed talking about their lives...

Me: Turn around I need to change.

Them: Yuck.

Me finishing putting on my underwear and they open their eyes. I turn around and Diana practically screams out the following.

Diana: Eww, you have cellulite.




Double Ouch.


Example....ah, you get the point.

Nevertheless, If I didn't have them, they would not have provided these chuckle moments.


Lessons to be learned from these examples:

1. Burn all videos of your childhood.
2. Lock the door to your room and bathroom.

What you doing to me...

January. Your cold weather has its fingers trying so desperately to touch my heart. It's getting cold and I want the sun to come in and breathe some life in to me.

Sun, wake up. Wake up, Sun. Wake up. Wake up, Jack...err Sun.

I've been feeling a little down, and I think it's because this weather does not make up its mind. Just like that Katy Perry song. You're hot then you're cold and then you snow, which it blows...kinda. Blah.

Got my first quiz tomorrow and have I read the first two chapters? Merp. That means no in Marcela's language but it's community college so I'm sure I can get an A with my eyes closed and my hands taped behind my back.

I'm dead serious. -_-

Besides, I'm awesome. I can get an A anytime I want. <-Narcissist Marcela.

Eww.

Ok, today I've been doing a lot of cons and pros about everything (in my head, in a Helen Mirren's voice). It's pretty hilarious and today was Sunday so I had all the time in the world.

Pros aboot having long hair:

You get to whip it back and forth.
You get to hide your face and act all mysterioso with a boy.
You make fake mustaches and fake unibrow.
You get to braid your hair like how R.Kelly says.
You get to cover your boobies a la Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon when you are missing your bra.
You get to chop it and then feel like a whole new person. Boom.

Cons aboot having long hair:

It takes ten minutes to brush your hair after taking a shower. I've counted.
It gets damaged easily.
When you whip it back and forth, your neck curses you the next day.
It creates a nest in the back of your head for no apparent reason.
You have to buy really expensive shampoo that says foo foo la foo to keep it nice and "commercially looking"

Meh that's it. Pros win.

Pros about having two pets: 

They get to play with each other when you have no time to play with them.
There are two furry animals that greet you when you come in the door. (Something that family needs to learn from)
Seeing them both sleep so peacefully reminds me that they are never gonna have to appear in an ASPCA commercial. (Damn you Sarah Mclachlan)
When they wake up next to you, it's possibly one of the best ways to greet the day.
They constantly ask for your attention (CAN ALSO BE A BIG CON)
They keep you fit.
Scientists say that they add five extra years to your life because they make you happy.

Cons about having two pets:

When they both start staring up at the ceilings and following something that is not visible to you. YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A GHOST IN YOUR HOUSE. Scary. Fuck.
You need to buy two different types of food if it's two different species.
Sometimes them playing together turns into fighting like cats and dogs...literally.
Double the poop.
Double the damage to your personal property.
Did I say double the poop?

Pros still win. Boom. 

Pros about having a loved one: 

They blow off the things stuck in your eye.


I learned that the other day when I had no one around me. Fucking sucks.

Pros win. Boom. 

I need to go to sleep or at least start reading those damn chapters. I guess that means I'm gonna go to sleep.

SLEEP BEATS HOMEWORK EVERY TIME!

Love, love love wins every time though. :) ♥

save some snow before it all gets melted by the storm!

January.

2012, why you no want to open up your arms to me? That's how I felt about the new year but now I don't care. The beginning of this year has been not so easy to tell you the truth but it's all about trying to find the silver lining.

It began with a close friend's family emergency.

Then it was starting on the wrong foot this school semester. (I read the schedule wrong.)

Then it was my boyfriend's car accident. Yes, car accident. Car = totaled. Him = totally fine.

To tell you the truth, that day is a blur to me. I hated so much that he had to go through that but I'm so grateful to have him get out of that without one scratch. Thank you God. Thank you seat belts. Thank you air bags. AND thank you car insurance for giving him a nice check on that car. Ca-ching. Phew!

Yes, it was a minor setback for him but I am sure that everything happens for the best and today, he is a proud owner of 2012 Camry. His dream car.

But me and my silliness with the school schedule.....Ay yai yai yai yai...

You know when you see something and your mind switches letters and numbers, that's me. Is that dyslexia? Yea, I think I have that.

Then there are these houses catching fire. I'm just happy that none of the families were hurt.

Lessons to be learned:

1. Materials, Ex: Car, House, etc.... do not matter as long as the people that make you smile are perfectly fine. 
2. Have good car insurance. 
3. Double check  Triple check EVERYTHING. 
4. Reassure everyone who is a having a hard time that everything is OK and is going to be OK.
5. Be thankful every day. Every day.

 ♥

 

Quote of the day....

"Music does not judge your emotions, it evokes them to be released....."

3 years ago yesterday....

I met a little angel that I hold so dear to my heart. She is hairy, has four paws, and she greets me with a lick.

Duchess.

Oh how I adore her, I can't get enough of her and I love how she loves me too. I know it.

Three years of

Knocked over things.
Puppy eyes.
Whimpers when she has nightmares.
Deadly farts.
Unrealistic tug-of-war games.
Potbelly.
Mornings with her butt on my face.
Mornings with her farting on my face.
Worried eyes when I start coughing uncontrollably.
Patient days of her waiting for me to walk her.
Happy barks.
Chewed up 90 dollars strappy shoes. Once. But once is enough.
100 bones.
1,000 treats.
10,000 pictures.
Nights of unexpected diarrhea.
Nights of heating me up during cold winter nights.
Summer days where all you hear is her pants.
Greetings at 3 a.m. at night.
 ............


Dear God, give me more of those. I'd like to keep her forever and three more years. ♥♥♥

2012

Another year, another day, and patiently awaiting the memories that I will cherish.

Iovan and I took Duchess back to his house. She's adorable and I love her. She met Xavier, Iovan's nephew, for the first time, and I'm impressed at how well she reacted to a little 1 year old.

She's a good puppy.

Today, kitty dug her nail deep in my finger and it hurt like hell. I want to hurt kitty so bad but I love that damn fur ball too much to actually do any harm to him. He's gonna pay for it some way. DECLAWED!

So new year resolutions is to make a resolution every day and have accomplished it. Nothing like starting fresh every day and remembering that nothing is impossible but possibly hard and positively attainable.


Goodnight, tomorrow I must start work after a four day vacation. Ouch. Must remember not to vacation for too long. Must do it often but not for too long.