That time of the year...

People, it's that time of the year. You know, the one where you think having a donut here, a piece of pound cake there, and a little sip of hot chocolate won't do any harm because it is only adding insulation to your body since winter is coming. It's a dangerous time, don't do it. Don't give in to the temptation of over eating. I've already started and all I can say is that my "hips don't lie" a la Shakira. I've given up on runs and settled for longer hours in bed with my girls. I've given up on eating air and given in to carbs. Damn it, you can ask Iovan how I've been the past week. "Honey, I'm hungry." "Baby, I'm gonna eat that orange you have in your fridge." "BABE! I'm gonna do it! I SWEAR!" he's response "Shut up and just eat something!" .....me,"Ok."

So let me give you some tips on how to not give in to temptation

Marcy Diet Tips:

1. Look at old college pictures of yourself. (Shudder)

2. If someone asks you to take that last donut in the box, you scream out "DEVIL!" and run the other way.

3. Look at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning, make an outline of your face with some kind of china marker and on the following day if your face is goes over that outline, slap yourself.

4. If you're really craving some sweets, chew but do not swallow.

5. Remember this phrase "a moment on your lips, a lifetime on your hips"

and last but not least

6. Stop drinking fruity alcoholic drinks, dum dum. Straight up shots is the way to go.

Ok, obviously, these are the worst diet tips ever. (except number one, that one really works wonders on me) But if you must indulge on some gushy stuff these winter, proceed with caution. I know they say "America the beautiful" but I never heard anyone say "America the Obese"

And yes, every size is beautiful, but don't you want to live longer? :( I want you to live longer.

Fuck you Diabetes, clogged arteries, and heart problems.