today, did something to my head. it made something click. it made me realize how life can be so simple and calm but a storm can build underneath you with no warning and it washes over you and turn you upside down. what makes us feel this way? what hormone did not want to cooperate and made me feel like poop on the dining room floor. i did not ask to feel this way. maybe i just miss a voice. a voice i haven't heard in what feels like a while.

today, did something to my heart. it felt heavy and it did not want to comply with the smile i was putting up. i wanted to really laugh at all the jokes that were being passed around. i wanted to really feel well when they asked me how i felt.

texts were written then erased, texts were being written then sent to drafts.

seconds passed and i almost felt like seconds were hours and and hours were days. everything is ok. nothing is missing but that voice....

today, did something to my body. it aches in all places and it's not like i haven't stretched enough to not reach this level of pain. but i felt it even in my fingertips. i opened doors just to find myself at the start of it all.

then i come home to find a note and a some jokes and i cracked a smile. a real one. and my heart was complete.

thank you.

but that voice...where are you?