This is how it all started....
My boyfriend picked me up from school and asked if I was hungry "Meh" I said, but I knew he was starving because ten minutes ago he had just texted me "I'm starving." So I asked him "Where are you taking me out to eat?" Smile. He said that his cousin-in-law had just caught a catfish and that he wasn't going to cook it and would gladly give it to Iovan. My boyfriend then turned to me and asked me if I wanted it. "Ummmmm" was what I said, when I really should have said "NO!!!!!!! I don't want a fish!" I told him that I didn't know the first thing of preparing a fish and he said that I had to learn one day or another. My first image was the eyes of the fish. Eww. How could I pluck out the eyes of a fish...looking at me...with that pout like "Why me? Why are you killing me?"
I started to panic and he told me to look up online how to prepare the fish as we were three blocks away from picking up the fish. My hands trembling and obedient, I typed "how to prepare a fish" and pressed enter. I wanted to kill my boyfriend. How dare him make me kill a fish. How dare him make me take a knife and gut his insides.
He got out the car as he went to greet his cousin and I was inside the car looking up YouTube videos of how to prepare and filet a fish. I clicked on the first video and I saw the chef explain how you had to take a knife and cut the scales...the fins...the stomach.
Oh my God....
Thankfully my phone's battery was at 2% and it turned off a minute later.
Oh my God...
I closed my eyes and I hear a knock on the window and my bf tells me that we are going to his cousin's house so that he can cook it there.
Phew.
He gets inside the car and takes one look at my face and asks me what is wrong. I have a pout. He then continues to say that I shouldn't be so scared or sad about cutting open a fish because I eat plenty of fish at work.
IT'S NOT THE SAME THING!!!!!
Ten seconds later, my eyes start to tear up and he grabs my hand to console me. He said "Geez, then how are we ever going to eat fish if your are going to be too scared to prepare it?" It's not the same thing you know, having filets from the grocery store to actually having a WHOLE FISH WITH EYES AND IT'S STILL FLIPPING ITS FISHTAIL!
I wish I was still a vegetarian.
So we go back to his cousin's house and they take the fish out of the Walgreen's bag were they had secured it. Ugh. We go to the back of the house and Juan placed it on the sink. The water came on and as soon as the water touched the fish, it became alive! OH MY GOD! IT STARTED FLIPPING AND I JUST RAN! DAMN IT! They were going to gut it alive and I was an accomplice. Murderer.
So you know that saying "Curiosity killed the cat." Well, damn it, it killed me because I went back to see how it was how they cut up the fish and I saw everything. Almost everything because that damn fish was still flipping its tail even after he cut his stomach wide open and I ran every time it did start moving...
This post really should come with a "Not for the weak stomach" sign.
You know, this post is actually kinda sad, so I dedicate this post to the fishy I will name "Fighter". Fighter the fish...because even though they cut him wide open with guts out and all...he never stopped fighting for his life and even though he is sitting at the bottom of my stomach instead of the river, he was tasty and did not die in vain. Sorry Fighter. You are now literally sleeping with the fishies.
Bloop bloop...
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