I love....?

I shall start by saying that I love everything and everyone as much and as hard as I can. I want to feel nothing but love in my heart and not have once ounce of hate in my body. I don't want to think bad thoughts about someone, I don't want to wish harm on anyone, and I don't want to feel closed out by the world because of hate. I want to be free like the sun and touch everything it sees and doesn't. I want to be happy like the sun, always shining and making the world a better and beautiful place.

This weekend was totally the opposite of that and it's my fault. Any kind of unhappiness I have, I will always blame myself because that is the only person you can blame. You can't blame your sadness and stress on anyone but you. You are in control of your emotions and you can create so many in a matter of seconds, its just knowing which ones.

This weekend was probably not the best I've had so far but it could have been worse. It can always be worse. One of my many imperfections is that I build walls for myself. I build them so high that it blocks me from reality and I have these thoughts in my head that just messes me up and it weakens me. It completely weakens. So I fought with people that I shouldn't have. I fought with people that don't deserve to be fought with. I want to say that I'm sorry.


Saturday came and well, its safe to say that my vegetarian diet crashed. I ate chicken at this mole fest we went to, which I will say was really good. And then at night I ate a steak taco. I must say though that as much as I was loving the smell and the idea that it's deliciousness was about to enter my tummy, I did not enjoy one bit of it. Every bite I took made me want to cry but I was so hungry and someone had paid for it, so I didn't want to be rude and throw it away. To make matters worse by teeth hurt every time I took a bite. I should have taken that as a sign. hahaha....Sunday morning came, and let me just say that if my tummy could talk, it'd be saying nothing but swear words in every language of the world. Oh you momentary weak me.

Today is mother's day and I'm so happy that I got to take out my mother for her day, which should be every day by the way. My sister and I were super excited because she knew that she would love it. Took her out at this really cute restaurant and my sisters surprised her with flowers. :) Cute. I love my mother and I have nothing but respect for that woman. She has been able to be strong through so many things and I love that she has nothing but love for her family and friends. Even strangers, she is nothing but nice to her. I love that she can be the one person I can run to when I have something wrong happening in my life. She knows which right words to say. I love you madre.

Earlier today, I had a mother moment with my baby duchess (my puppy). And I know that it's not the same as having a human baby, but I love this dog so much that she has become my world and will always be my world. Well, today as I was walking her, we see this pit bull on a "leash" and immediately ran to her like she was about to devour my poor baby. I knew that leash was not gonna be able to hold that monster so I braced for the worst. I was correct, that thing ripped in matter of seconds and I let out a scream. "NO!" She ran straight to my puppy and just jumped on her and started attacking her face. The stupid leash wrapped around my legs and as that monster was tugging, I felt like I was going to be left without legs. I swear I felt like it lasted five minutes but I'm sure it was less than a minute till the incredibly ignorant owners grabbed their dog to pull her away. While all of this was happening I felt like kicking that dog, I was yelling "leave her alone you stupid dog" at the top of my lungs. The owner's kid pulls on the dog and repeatedly said "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I just didn't know what to say and as soon as that dog was back to its owner I walked away miraculously still in one piece and with energy to walk. It wasn't that long till I stopped on the next block and checked duchess for any open wounds and that poor dog was shaking. I could have killed that dog with my bear hands. That face on my poor puppy, I will never forget. I broke down, tears started going down my cheeks and I wanted to run home. But I knew that if I did that I probably would have fainted. Well, thankfully my puppy got back to her old self and was a happy little puppy when we went to visit some dear friends of mine. I hope I never go through that again.

So this Sunday list I will dedicate to my mother and my puppy, treasures in my life.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

1. My mother tries to make a joke so many times and they are so bad half of the times that I still end up laughing at how horrible they are. 

2. Duchess is the best alarm clock in the world. Her kisses are for free. :) 

3. My mother loves to bless me every time she gets. The care she has for me is unlimited and I'm grateful.

4. Whenever Duchess puts her ears back and looks at me with those huge eyes...I think of E.T. Lol...

5. My mom gives the best advice about friendship and love that it almost makes me feel invincible.

6. Duchess is an attention hogger....just like me. :) 

7. My mother tells me I'm beautiful a lot. ♥

8. I love how happy Duchess gets when I let her jump in bed with me. 

9. My mom never lets what any body say get her down. 

10. My mom is a Super Mom. That's a fact.

When this world ends know that you will be in my heart and thoughts...