"Te mereces muchas cosas buenas, don't ever settle for less."

In tears, who would have thought this person could open my eyes. I know they have been opened before but this person could have actually helped me keep them open.

Love and greatness is all around.

Tito mio

It's been three years grandpa and we still miss you. My mother still winces at the sound of your name, at the sight of your face on a picture, or the sound of your voice on a home movie. She is the one thing you can sure be proud of and I'm thankful you gave me such a beautiful mother. Let me feel your presence tonight, and leave some advice at the foot of my bed. God knows I need it more than ever as I pick my road to ky future. You were loved by family and even strangers. They knew that you were a great man, a good man, and some even took advantage of that. Yet you still showed no hate or remorse. Grandpa, I miss our phone calls, the ones that asked so many questions about my life and I never heard a hint of fakeness that most family members have when they "show" interest in your life. Through the other line I could hear your proudness of even my smallest accomplishments. The most insignificants of events all marked with a star by you. Thank you Tito. For the life you once led and the legacy you've left behind. My kids will know who you were, they are gonna wish they knew you like I did too. I love you Tito. I'm sure God made you one of his best friends and you are making him laugh so much.

i've gone and done it now. i pushed myself too far and i can't stop it.

i need to let go.

when things come so easily, one must be prepared always to let it go easily.

it's not mine. never was and now i can't.

Today, I felt so much hate. I felt pain.

This past few days I've been tweeting messages to people indirectly. Bad ones. I do not care. I felt that way and I don't care.

Yesterday, I saw a service dog and I almost teared up. Such an innocent and pure mind. Ever loyal to its owner, leading them away from danger as their happiness has been stripped away possibly forever...but maybe not, maybe it brings them happiness to see their owners well. Maybe they are truly the only unselfish souls in this world.

This weekend I saw first hand how people are so careless. Words are thrown around as if they had no worldly meaning behind them.

Tonight, I feel love and somewhat peace. Writing to him makes nights easier. When the words that my heart spew out and are finally put down somewhere where he can see them, it makes everything easier.

Tomorrow is another day.

today, did something to my head. it made something click. it made me realize how life can be so simple and calm but a storm can build underneath you with no warning and it washes over you and turn you upside down. what makes us feel this way? what hormone did not want to cooperate and made me feel like poop on the dining room floor. i did not ask to feel this way. maybe i just miss a voice. a voice i haven't heard in what feels like a while.

today, did something to my heart. it felt heavy and it did not want to comply with the smile i was putting up. i wanted to really laugh at all the jokes that were being passed around. i wanted to really feel well when they asked me how i felt.

texts were written then erased, texts were being written then sent to drafts.

seconds passed and i almost felt like seconds were hours and and hours were days. everything is ok. nothing is missing but that voice....

today, did something to my body. it aches in all places and it's not like i haven't stretched enough to not reach this level of pain. but i felt it even in my fingertips. i opened doors just to find myself at the start of it all.

then i come home to find a note and a some jokes and i cracked a smile. a real one. and my heart was complete.

thank you.

but that voice...where are you?

you don't know me. nobody does. rain falls on me like it tries to hurt me but i find out it's only try to wash the bad things off. rain, rain harder please. let this bad things wash off my soul as I try my hardest to find the sun in everything. let love come to me like wind comes to this city. always finding itself back in this little city. love will always find me.

make the rain rain harder God.