This past week, I've definitely not felt like myself. I've become like this little ant hiding between the sidewalk cracks so that no one steps on me. I'm torn and a little lost. All I want is to find peace and I can't seem to find it no matter how high or low I search for it. I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm upset. All I want is some sort of sign that no matter what, I should just keep my head held high and let the good things come. I need to stop pressuring people, or pushing them away, or trying so desperately to keep them with me. I want love and happiness and possibly, to not give a fuck about anyone else but me. I feel like I need to go into this deep blue ocean and swim down as far as I can so I can go save me from falling further down into the pit of the dark thoughts. This is the worst post i've written, but maybe I can keep this post as a reminder to never be in this place.

I need to be here now....